On a Roll....

I have been through quite a bit since my last post. I seem to have had a life changing moment and it has had a very positive effect on my poker play. For a long time now, I have had the wrong attitude toward poker and how I conduct my life in general. I didn't realize it until this weekend after I finished 12th in the $2K event #10 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

After playing some satellites and freerolling into the event, I left Caesars feeling happy about the $4700 cash, but upset about the fact that I once again missed the big prize ($126K) once again. I have won my share of small buy in tournaments battling fields of 100 or less to take first prize, but always seem to fall short when the big money is on the line. I didn't realize it before, but I was very bitter about it. I believe that I am a very good player. I know the math. I read people well. I make money at this game. I DESERVE to win one of these big ones! Why is it not happening for me.

I took this horrible attitude to the blackjack table and managed to blow quite a bit of my winnings. After being up over $5K to be up $3K, I felt like I was down. I was angry at the casino, myself, and the mystery of why I cant seem to hit the big one. Then something unlikely and unexpected happened. I read a feel good email from my sister-in-law. The email is below.


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we`re here we should dance!

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.
The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says." She read the words " United States of America"
"No, not that; read further."
"One cent?" "No, keep reading."
"In God we Trust?" "Yes!" "And?"
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient..

There was some of the typical, "pass this along to 7 people" at the end. I am not one who normally takes the time to read these emails, and certainly don't pass them along to 7 people. Well, maybe this time I did, assuming at least 7 people read this. Anyway, something in this story really struck a chord with me. I realized that I have been such an ass about the way I have approached everything lately. I developed this sense of entitlement. I deserve this. I deserve that. I had to think back and just laugh at myself.

I woke up the next morning and decided that I just needed to be thankful that I get to play poker, that I get to go to places like Las Vegas, that I am still up for the trip, that I have good friends and family, that I am healthy. I immediately felt a huge burden lifted off of me. I suddenly didn't feel all the pressure I was putting on myself, not only in poker, but in business and my personal life. I decided to head over to the Bellagio to play a little 2/5 NL before the $540 daily tournament at 2pm. I played well and won $500 in about an hour and a half. I never got upset about a bad beat or missing a big draw. I was just happy to be there. At 2:10pm I bought into the tournament and managed to build a huge stack and chopped that tournament at 4 people. I was 2nd in chips at the time and made more than 2nd place money. Again, I was just thankful to have the opportunity to play. I decided to take a good friend out for steaks at Ruth Chris to celebrate, and was thankful that I could buy. Finally, I spent my last 30 minutes before leaving for the airport playing 2/5 where I lost $300. Again, I was just happy to have the opportunity to play.

I love this game, but I got my priorities way out of whack. I still hope that someday I can take home a big prize, like a WPT main event, or a WSOP bracelet, but I will be thankful for the opportunity just to play.

PS. Last night I won our weekly Tuesday tournament as well. Lucky me. :)